Come and Ask Me Yourself

"Call to me and I will answer you & tell you great & unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3
....
This verse was actually an answer tonight to a question I wrote down to God early this morning. 

I've been wrestling with a particular decision for some time now and I have been struggling to know if I'm discerning God's voice in this. So this morning I wrote down, "God I struggle to know your will on this because....Can you give a word for me regarding this to a mentor? 

Then tonight I get a message from a lovely lady who I have always thought of as a mentor and she wrote one verse: Jeremiah 33:3.

How can God be any clearer? He's saying - Trust me Beth, ask me questions, I will give you the answers you need in this situation. I was saying I needed someone else to confirm God's voice and He's saying - no come and ask me yourself.
.....
Listening to God for me has never been an audible voice thing. Some people experience that but for me it's a restlessness in my spirit when something's not right, and then verses and lyrics coming to mind that nudge me in a direction. I've been doing this amazing study this past season called "Discerning the Voice of God - How to Recognize when God speaks" by Priscilla Shirer.
And it's brought so much to light. Ugly stuff about myself, truths that God speaks over me, and a sense that He delights in me, a beautiful awareness of what it means to look through Jesus' eyes at people, at situations, at struggles, at myself. And it's been hard. Tackling things in myself that I had let thrive, unhealthy aspects of myself that I have ignored or justified. 

I honestly can say that before I started doing this study, I didn't crave time with Jesus. And the less time that I spent with him, I unintentionally dulled His voice and watered down the truth of the gospel. I've def been the biggest kind of hypocrite this year. The truth is hard to face. 

But with that truth, comes a question - Will you follow me? It's a daily question- sometimes a moment by moment question. And boy, is it easy to slip back into the "nah, I'm good, I don't need Jesus mentality" until the shit hits the fan. And then I realize - oh yeah I really don't have it all together. And this coasting mentality to my faith doesn't do a thing for me or anyone else. 

I want to be the kind of person that isn't bound by fear of what people think, or avoids the uncomfortable. Have you ever read how Jesus lived? I don't really know if he would fit into the Christian culture we have today - this image of a sweet, cuddly Jesus who never rocks the boat and has it all together. He actually preferred to spend his time with people who were broken, looked down on, people that made others uncomfortable, people that may look good on the outside but were hurting and searching on the inside. He loved people deeply but he also called it like it was and challenged people to live differently. 

It's certainly hard to discern God's voice these days, at least when we are looking to people around us to tell us what to do, what is right. We have so many people claiming what truth is what you make it.
I don't have this all figured out - but I'll tell you one thing. Choosing to make time every day to lean into Jesus, to read my Bible and dig in and ask questions - that's making all the difference for me. I feel like I'm breathing deeper than I have in a long time. And it all comes back to talking to Him first.
.....
I didn't intend to write so much, but I guess I needed to get some stuff off my heart. And I know there's people that will read this and think - wow I didn't know Beth was crazy religious. Let me stop you - I'm kinda a nut. This is true. I regularly have crazy dance parties in my kitchen with my boys to the Greatest Showman track. But I cringe at the word "religious." For me, it's not about a set of rules, or a denomination, or being a certain type of person. It really just comes down to a relationship with Jesus. One that is a work in progress. One minute at a time. xox