End of Day 2. Thanks to yesterday's long trek to Thunder Bay, we had the luxury of sleeping in until 9 before driving 8 hrs to Winnipeg.

I am trying to write but am distracted by Jay who is overly tired and keeps making absurd comments.

Random facts from today:
We drove on a straight road for ages with trees covered in snow on either side.
I am seeing more and more butch women the further we drive north/west. It worries me.
Matt has grown a stache and looks quite creepy from far away and up close. But he will shave it tomorrow and become handsome again.

Yea I can't concentrate. Will elaborate tomorrow.

Things I am thankful for today..

As torn as I feel right now about everything that's happening. As much as I keep wanting this to be a dream I wake up from - I want to stay positive and focus on the things to be thankful for.

#1 - Jay - looking out for me
#2 - Tyler - willing to drive as long as it took, being a comic relief when we needed it, and being sensitive when at the end of the night, found myself crumbling into tears
#3 - the incredible scenery we have passed. We have rolled past waves with white crests, mountains with light-streaked peaks, a lone wolf ambling along the roadside, thick forests, glassy lakes, and friendly people.

God is good. We are safe in a warm bed. We have a lot to be thankful for. Just wanted to give praise to God for that. 

The hardest thing...

The image of my mom standing in the driveway, eyes crinkled up and tears streaming down her face was the hardest thing to see. As we rolled down the driveway, I wanted to fling open the truck door and run back up to the house for one last hug and never let go. It feels like a piece of my heart is back there in that driveway. This whole morning, that image kept replaying itself in my mind. 

God, you have confirmed and affirmed this decision on so many levels - so I know you will take just as much care of my mom so I am entrusting her to You. Give her a sense that she is in the hollow of Your hand, enclosing her and protecting her. Hem her in behind and before and lay Your hand on her in all of this. 

..........

Young Life kids. You are awesome.

It's finally starting to sink in. This reality. And it's really hard. Because even whilst I've been telling everyone that I'm moving - it hasn't really seemed real. Or seemed like it was happening to me. And now that it is, I don't know quite how to feel.

I was thinking today about the farewell party and quite a few people mentioned how they were amazed about how many young peoples' lives Jay and I have touched. But to be totally honest - I feel like it's the other way around. It has truly been a privilege to have teenagers come to me and open up about where they're at.

 I was so proud of my girls - Bianca, Lily, Laura, Alarice, Karalee & Jenai. When you all got up and spoke I saw courage and honesty and your beautiful hearts and I was just blown away. It is quite scary to get up in front of over 100 people and speak, especially when you are feeling so vulnerable and sad and I felt so blessed to be the recipient of that. Girls, I am so proud of you all. You mentioned that I had helped shaped you into the people you are but man I totally see the opposite ha. I definitely have seen God shaping and moulding you and have been lucky enough to ride along for a bit but it goes both ways - you all have really challenged me and given me confidence as a leader.

The first time we hung out at Tin Cup, you were all babbling on about things at school and laughing your heads off and I walked away feeling like man I just don't know what to say to these girls - I felt very inadequate. But the next thing I knew, you all wanted to meet up again and I was so surprised as I didn't know that I had much to offer haha. But from your confidence in me, this incredible friendship has grown and I am so blessed. You girls are gonna make some boys feel like they're the luckiest guys in the world ha and I'm just a phone call away for tips and advice. But until then you don't need boys - stick with your girl friends :)

Braydon and Mike - ha you guys cracked me up and made me tear up at the same time. Pretty powerful stuff- that guitar and voice of yours. Seriously though, you guys have made Young Life so much fun - never knew what was gonna come out of your mouths next. And you guys give the best hugs ha - but seriously it has been really cool to see you guys mature in your faith and give more stuff to God in your lives and it's a working progress (for me as well) - that sometimes you'll be super strong in your faith and sometimes not so much but stick with God cuz he's given you guys so many talents and it's cool when I've gotten to see you use them for Him.

Nate the same goes for you - with your talents and your creativity and your leadership and also the way you call leadership out of people. I really saw you call leadership out of Jay and it was something I had been praying for and always assumed it would be an older guy that would call that out but you really have been that in Jay's life and I really hope you and Willem make it up in the summer cuz Jay and I would be so floored.

Alex - you and Jess - you girls are something special . I know this is crazy busy year for you girls and I just wanted to encourage you - that when your faith feels a lil shaky or you feel alot of pressure, just surrender it to God and He will get ya through it. I tend to hold onto stuff thinking I can handle it but it gets worse and man you girls are always so upbeat and that has been a real encouragement - if I felt insecure leading songs or lacking energy- I could just catch either one of your eyes and my energy and confidence just bounced back up again ha and that was the best feeling!!

I can't name everyone - or this post would be as long as a blog, but seriously - to the kids who made it to our party AND the kids who couldn't make it - I really love you guys and you have really challenged me in my faith to really live what I'm saying. I so admire those of you who have been really searching to know who God is and not just letting life pass you by without thinking deeply about these questions we put forth at Young Life. Young Life impacted me so much as a kid in high school and it has been so cool to give back in this way. You guys are the best and Sarah and the other leaders are so lucky to be able to spend so much time with you all!!

Keep me updated all of you - on your lives and where you're at and if you have questions ha and all that good stuff :) - lovelife082@hotmail.com or fb me :)

P.S
James (Triny) - I packed that killa sweet hat in a box but when I get to Slave Lake, I'm gonna pull it out and take some gangsta pics for ya lol 

A Farewell blessing like no other...

Last night was our farewell party at our church - planned by my mom and Jay's mom. We were astonished to see so many well wishers, from all different corners of our lives come to see us off. It was really an incredible blessing. The kind words that were spoken on and off the mic, written in the cards - expressed in the hugs we received and your expressions.

Jay and I were blown away and very thankful for all of you. It was really encouraging to hear how God has impacted people through us - and I definitely give Him the glory for that! To our Young Life kids - man - you guys spoke so eloquently and honestly and it really meant a lot to Jay and I (hence the tears) - and Jay did tear up although he hid it quite well :)

Today we pack up our uhaul and drive out early tomorrow morning. Feels crazy to be at this point already - it still doesn't seem real at times but it is slowly starting to sink in. And it will hit full force tomorrow morning when we drive away. Not especially looking forward to that... But clinging to this verse - Psalm 139:5 - that God will hem us in behind and before and lay His hand on us the whole way there. 

Prepping to leave.

Well...we leave for Slave Lake early next Tuesday. Can't believe it's so close. And the next few days will go by fast as we are going to a wedding in Ottawa and will be back on the Sunday - just before our farewell party. Monday will be a day to load up the uhaul and hopefully get some last minute family time and then off we go - on this grand adventure.

Am I scared? Yes a little. Scared that I won't find a solid community of people my age - seems it's quite normal in the Northern areas for women my age to have lots of kids by now and I'm not ready for that. I need a good friend who is in the same stage of life as me. I've been blessed so much with friends like that here - Godly women who are on the same page as me. Thank you God for that.

What will I miss?
Most definitely my family. Gonna be a huge tearfest on Sunday.  My friends - you know who your are - prayer warrior women who have stood by me and prayed me through so much stuff.  My Young Life kids - girls I have watched go from initially dipping their feet into this pool of faith - to standing firm in their relationship with God in face of friend troubles, family members with cancer, health troubles, family problems and just the everyday anxieties that teenagers face in battling high school drama and angst. I don't envy them that. I have been welcomed into friendships that have been founded so long ago - as a mentor, as an older sister figure, as a fellow Christian struggling with my own issues and learning to surrender them to God - and as a friend. It has been a real gift to walk alongside my girls and watch them grow. And though I plan to text and skype and fb them all - I am scared to disappear with the fogginess that distance often creates. But I trust God that He will provide for these kids exactly what they need in a leader and in the new mentors that will step into their lives. I really hope that there will be a niche in Slave Lake, of youth, that I can step into and find more kids to walk alongside and encourage and give them someone to listen and talk to. My hope is not to work within a church - but in a community centre or something like along the lines of what Young Life has been.

What am I looking forward to?
First and foremost - to see my husband be able to work as a pilot - to do what he is passionate about. I am praying for an authentic environment of people that really care about him - that build up and encourage and let him know that he is appreciated - both as an employee and a person. I do hope for other Christians at his workplace - mainly for the encouragement that it would bring but mostly I hope for solid friendships to be formed. Jay is a talented individual - both intellectually and in his character. He has amazing work ethic (sometimes too much ha) and his skills as a pilot have given him so many opportunities - rather - God has given him so many opportunities. We have prayed and trusted God that a job like this would come about and God has granted it and affirmed and confirmed it from the day that we said yes. I want to see my husband flourish in the God-given talents that he has and I look forward to that so much.

What are my hopes?
I hope to continue my music - to be inspired to write songs and share them with others. I have this picture in my mind of being able to invite fellow musicians to our apartment and have music nights (modelled after Huizenga music nights). I hope to be stretched and challenged in my faith - to become more passionate about serving God and more aware of others' needs and not so self-focussed.

Prayer requests for Jay and I?
-to continue to put God first in our marriage and lives - and to grow closer as a couple
- to find an affordable apartment that we can make our own
-to be able to fly up our dog, Sadie - as she will be a real comfort to me when Jay is away for flights
- to find a solid church community and Christian friends there
-for Jay to settle quickly and smoothly into his job and for me to find a job
-for our drive to Slave Lake
Day 1 : Tuesday, Nov 29th - Beaverton to Sault Ste Marie
Day 2 : Wednesday - Sault Ste Marie to Winnipeg
Day 3: Winnipeg to Saskatoon
Day 4: Saskatoon to Edmonton
Day 5: Edmonton to Slave Lake - to unload our stuff and settle in to the crew-house we will be renting a room from until we find a proper apt